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Title: Of Jesters And Concupiscence
Author: [personal profile] f13tch3r
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): FW/GW/SS
Warnings: Fred and George are not yet of age. Masturbation. Incest.
Summary: Prompt #43 - Severus Snape has no time for jokers in his classroom. Fred and George can appreciate that, and decide to gift him with their time and attention outside of class.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just having a little fun with ‘em.
Author's Note: Written for [ profile] xylodemon’s Fred and George Ficathon. Enormous thanks go to my beta [ profile] bar_bar_ella. Any mistakes are mine. For [ profile] petquality.

“I have no time for jokers in my classroom! Messrs Weasley, if you have finished, bring your assignment forward. You will attend to any and all queries from your fellow students. I do not want to have to deal with any occurrence or to discipline you in this class for the remainder of the term or it will be 100 points from your house from each of you. Am I understood?”

The Twins nodded stiffly.

“Very well, 20 points each from Gryffindor for swapping Mr. Harper’s flobberworm secretions with bubotuber puss. Ms Johnson, escort Mr. Harper to the infirmary so he may be relieved of his tentacles. Mr. Harper, keep those tentacles to yourself. I do not want to hear of any mishaps from Ms Johnson.”

“Yes sir,” replied the two students together.

As they exited, Snape took a moment to survey the room. Turning to his desk he said, “Messrs Weasley, I believe Ms Spinnet could use assistance.”

The Twins swivelled their heads to see Alicia Spinnet’s cauldron foaming thickly, discharging bright purple sparks. They groaned and got to work.

“How do you like that?”

“Suppose we never finish early for the rest of the term?”

“That won’t work. He’d still expect us to deal with everyone else’s messes.”

“You don’t know that for sure.”

“You really wanna test that theory? Even we couldn’t survive if we lost 200 points in one go.”

“No. S’pose not. Could you move a little more?”

“Oh sorry. I guess I got distracted.” George pulled himself more fully out of Fred’s arse and pushed back in, making every inch felt. He continued in this manner.

“Mm, yeah. Better.”

“I like having you this way. You look so good when I fuck you.” George lowered his chest to his brother’s and kissed him sloppily. Fred began to laugh. “What?”

“You must be the wettest kisser in the world!”

“I like tasting you.” He stuck his tongue out at Fred.

“I’m glad you…”


“…ohh, do.” Fred shut his eyes tight, focussing on the pleasure building in his arse. After George had found a pleasant pace, Fred continued. “I was thinking, though, that poor Snape’d miss out on all the fun if we never joke around in class anymore.”

George got a glint. “And we can’t have that, can we?”

“No we can’t.” Grin.

“Yeah, I love you, Fred. You think like me.”

“Yeah? Then you must be thinking enough talk, more fucking.”

“Uncanny.” Thrust.


“My thoughts exactly.”

It was another gorgeous Saturday morning at Hogwarts, according to the enchanted ceiling. Snape entered the Great Hall and took his usual seat at the head table. He was served his usual porridge, toast and black coffee.

“I’ll never understand how you can drink that, Severus.”

“It’s dark and bitter, Minerva. Precisely what do you find incongruous?”

“Oh Severus, how I do adore your sense of humour,” she said as she smiled into her tea.

“That’s because you are a glutton for any young man’s attentions.”

“Severus, don’t be rude!” Piped up Madam Hooch.

“Don’t pay him any mind, Xiomara. He’s quite right.”

Snape snorted and quaffed the rest of his coffee. He set down his cup and looked up. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. Snape gaped at the room about him for the merest of seconds. No one. Not one person wore a single stitch of clothing. Recovering quickly, he snapped his mouth shut and continued his usual scan of the student body. Though this scan revealed a bit more of the students’ bodies than was usual. No one else appeared to have noticed anything amiss.

Most of the students were sitting and chatting as they ate their breakfast. He did notice, however, more than a few Hufflepuffs who were stealthily engaging in lewd sexual misconduct with each other. He’d have to find a way to take points later. Then there was Goyle, who never removed his hand from being tightly wrapped about his penis. Snape sighed. Perhaps he’d need to have a talk with him. He scowled. No, perhaps not. He tried not to scrutinise the students too closely, though there was that one fifth year Ravenclaw…he quickly surveyed the room for her. There! Gods help him, his imagination did not do her justice.

He continued his scan, searching for faces looking at him. He glimpsed two identical faces glance at him and devolve into a fit of giggles. Snape smirked and then turned to give more attention than usual to Madam Hooch.


“Hullo, Professor!”

Snape looked up to find two fit and strapping freckled bodies with pink nipples entering his office.

“Messrs Weasley.” Snape made an obvious gesture of looking at them bottom to top before continuing. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

The flush started below their chests and quickly progressed to the top of their heads. Snape frowned. The florid skin made the freckles disappear.

“How was breakfast, sir?”

It was George who was speaking? Yes, George. “The meal, though bland, was nutritious as ever. My coffee, however, tasted stronger than usual.”

The rosy hue extended down their bellies. Gods, they even blushed identically.

“I was pleasantly engaged in a conversation with Madam Hooch about the surprising impact of Quidditch level broom flying on one’s physical fitness. We determined it must be the constant rapid contraction and adjustment of the core muscles to maintain stability and balance whilst in flight.” Snape couldn’t help smirking. “What about you gentlemen? You are looking fine this morning. What do you think?”

The blush became fiery. Merlin, did those pretty pink cocks just twitch in unison?

“Sounds right to us,” they replied, beaming identical smiles at Snape.

They continued to stand expectantly in front of him. Were they flirting with him?

“Revello potion. Ingeniously administered. I suppose I should be grateful it wasn’t something worse. Though I could have done without seeing Hagrid like that. Not to mention the subsequent feeling of inadequacy.”

The pretty pink penises twitched again. It was adorable, really.

“Oh, you have nothing to worry about, sir.”

George elbowed Fred in the ribs.

Snape arched a surprised eyebrow. It was his turn to twitch. The Twins giggled.

“Tell me, Messrs Weasley, how did you manage to only drug me? Professor Flitwick also enjoys coffee at breakfast.

The devious duo smirked. Fred piped up. “Brilliance!”

“Indubitably.” Merlin help him, Snape’s cock twitched again. Fred and George must have noticed because they looked at each other and put on very wicked smiles.

“Well, sir, if you’d really like to know,” Fred began.

Did he really just lower his voice?

“…we added powdered Graphorn horn which, as you know, is inert in Revello potion but once combined with the properties found in sugar…”

Snape cut him off. “It becomes an active bonding agent, splitting its properties with the sugar and the active ingredient in the Revello, thereby rendering it useless.” That led to another twitch and definite swelling.

George’s grin widened. “And you know Flitwick uses way too much sugar.”

“That he does.”

“But you know, Professor, we had to safeguard that even if someone else drank the unsweetened coffee, the Revello would only work on you.”

“Pray tell, gentlemen.” Snape gave them both an intense look. Their excitement became evident in their pricks. They were affecting Snape and obviously enjoying it.

“It’s simple, really. We just put a little of you in there. You know that boomslang skin is what adheres to and identifies the genetic material in the hairs when they’re added to Polyjuice, so we just added boomslang skin. That way we could tag the potion with your genetic marker, making it compatible only with you.”

The Twins were beaming, obviously proud of their handiwork.

“How did you temper the potion from allowing me to see completely through people and things to being able to see merely through their clothing?”

“You don’t expect us to tell you all our secrets, do you?” George’s smile was down right lascivious! His expression turned hungry when he looked down at Snape’s crotch.

Fred’s eyes were wide as saucers, his mouth hanging dumbly.

“Is there a problem, gentlemen?” Snape smirked.

The gleam in George’s eye was unmistakable.

“You really enjoy talking about potions.”

“It is my chosen profession.”

Fred was gaping. “Those robes sure do hide a lot!”

“Indeed.” The smirk remained. Snape knew he ought to bring an end to this. Dole out a series of detentions and take an obscene amount of House points, but he was having too much fun. Speaking of obscene, both Twins had become fully erect and Fred’s tongue kept peeking out of his mouth to lick his lips. A brief image of a patch of messy red hair bobbing below his waist, flashed through Snape’s mind. Thus causing his engorged cock to twitch.

When Snape’s cock waved, Fred was undone and he hit the floor on his knees. He looked positively starved for it. He grabbed for his cock but he’d forgotten that though it appeared they were nude, they were all fully clothed. He fumbled about the unseen layers of fabric until he reached it. He took hold of his burgeoning prick seemingly happy to just have it in his hand.

“See how crazed he can get, sir? He becomes a gorgeous pet.” George looked upon his brother lustily.

“His arse does take a good plunging from you in the Astronomy Tower.”

“Ah gods, he watches! He watches, Georgie.” Fred’s hand began to move, slowly pumping his reddened dick.

“Do you watch us, Snape?” George made a flurry with his hands, presumably fiddling with his robes. “Do you watch us when we fuck?”

Snape’s face became expressionless. His only response came from the bob of his cock.

“You like watching us, Snape? Gods, you do don’t you?” George was stroking his thick penis. “I bet you go back to your rooms and wank yourself rotten, don’t you?” His stroking became more insistent.

“Georgie, you’re talking so hot. Fuck.” Fred meanwhile, had long since abandoned ginger caresses of his prick for strong determined strokes.

“He watches us, Freddie,” George gasped. “He watches while I pound into your hot arse. He hears when you tell me ‘More!’ and ‘Harder!’ and he hears when I scream your name when I’m coming, filling you up with my spunk. And that’s not all, Freddie. He goes into his room and yanks it. He grabs his big purple cock and thinks about us.”

Snape’s visage darkened. His scowl was fierce and the lines in his face, deepened. He remained silent.

“Gods Snape, you do that?” Fred was pumping rapidly, and cradling his balls. “Oh fuck, Snape! Oh fuck!” Fred shouted as he shot creamy white spurts that splattered against nothing and oddly hung in the air.

“Ah yeah, that’s great, Freddie. Did you like that, Snape? He’s so beautiful when he comes. Listen to him whimper. He’s always mush afterward. Such a pretty, pretty pet.”

George was giving his cock long full strokes, feeling every inch.

Snape couldn’t keep from letting escape a low growl. Disgusted with his own lack of control, he scowled.

“Yeah, knew you’d like that, Snape. He’s irresistible.”

Fred remained on the dungeon floor. His posture was meek and languid. His eyes were trained on George who continued talking.

“I can hold out for you, you know. If you get started now, we can come together.”

Snape’s dark expression remained. “You are a foolish child. A bumbling idiot boy who wants nothing more than to be disciplined. You and your other are deviants of the worst kind. And now you take pleasure in my verbal assault on all that you are. You are disgusting miscreants who should be beaten for your depravity.” Snape’s dark tones dropped even lower to a mere whisper. “And would that I could mete out your punishment.”

Throughout Snape’s screed, George’s control lessened. Snape’s words washed over him and his fist slid faster and harder until the final ‘T’ in punishment had been punched by Snape’s over-dentalisation of the delicious word, then his prick erupted over his fist. George moaned from deep in his chest. “Shit.”

“Get. Out.”

The boys blinked at each other dumbly.

NOW!! Snape roared.

Fred and George started. Fred scrambled to his feet, George dragging him up by his collar. They were out of the room in two seconds.

Snape slammed the door behind them. He slumped back against the heavy office door and reached into his robes to grip his leaking cock. His balls had begun to ache. He breathed heavily, his desperation overwhelming him. He squeezed his eyes shut; the flaming red hair was there behind his eyelids. Two, three tugs and he spilt all over his hand. He slid down to the stone floor, groaning.

“Merlin help me.”


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May 2011

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